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Next, a few rants…

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We just got a new rack. It’s pretty sick. Along with the rack we got some new pieces of equipment. One of the pieces being a cambered spider bar.

This bar is sick! I really like it a lot. It’s perfect for me right now. It sucks for me to externally rotate due to my surgery right now, and this takes all the pressure of that. It’s a great bar for shoulder rehab and just to change shit up.

BUT…much like everything else in this world, I have a problem with it. K… is it me, or is the fitness industry starting to get a little like the cell phone industry? Many of you are scratching your heads saying, “what’s asshole talking about now?” This bar, much like every specialty bar, requires a different kind of clip. WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU JUST MAKE EVERY BAR THE SAME?! I don’t get it!!! Maybe there’s some physics behind it that I’m not getting. If that’s the case, then I apologize. Otherwise, you’re making shit a little ridiculous. I feel like I need to buy another cell phone charger because I bought the same company but a different phone. We know you’re capable of making all chargers universal, but you just don’t want to. I’m starting to see a trend here. Now we (consumers) need to buy more clips and spend more time on the site.

Other than that, the bar is sick.

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Next rant,

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Unoriginality.

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I hate it. I might give out similar (not same) info as DeFranco does. I understand that a lot of our info is the same. Where do you think I spent most of my time learning? But I def have slightly different perspectives on things. I don’t copy what he says word for fucking word. I def have my own voice, and it’s not fake, it truly is my personality.

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I always hated when people ripped off DeFranco. Either taking his logo, youtube videos, website templates or even exercises and stamping them as their own. Get a fucking life and get some originality, you fucking wannabe’s!

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As much as I hate when people copy DeFranco, I hate it EVEN MORE when people rip shit off me. STOP TRYING TO DO SHIT LIKE ME. YOU’RE NOT ME AND YOU’RE PISSING ME OFF!

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Get your own opinion, get your own shit and most importantly, GET A CLUE!

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(This actually goes out to a few people, so if you think it might be you, it probably is!)

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Barefoot training.

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A lot of people have been sending questions regarding barefoot training. To be honest, I LOVE it! Jumping, squating, anything and everything can and should be done barefoot.

I truly believe that majority of any ankle, knee, hip or back problems originate from the kind of shoes you wear. Our whole country has turned into a bunch of pussys that don’t want anything to hurt. Everything needs to be cushioned and pain free. Guys, I got news for you, life is pain. Get used to it. If you’re someone that has never experienced any kind of pain, then you’re probably not very good…at anything. Maybe video games, smoking weed and masturbation. But that’s probably about it.

Man up.

Now, most gyms won’t allow you to walk around barefoot. And to be honest, I wouldn’t want any of your skanky feet touching my gym floor or turf either. But that’s why I recommend these.

Purchase them here

I first saw these a few years ago. Dave Diehl was rockin em. I always say if I could be any millionaire it’d be him. He’s always the biggest guy in the room, nicest guy and he’s rich. What more is there? ANYWAY, apart from being the man, he’s very conscious about his health and training. He’s into all natural shit, and is very in tune with his body. Any advice he gives me, for the most part is always good advice.

Since then, I’ve been reading and talking to a lot of different people about barefoot training. One of the reasons people are for it is that there are a significant amount of nerve endings in your hands and feet that do not get utilized when wearing gloves or shoes. This could hinder CNS stimulation.

So, I did my own experiment. Mine was with squating and jumping. I box jumped and squated with shoes on, and then without on separate days and on more than one occasion. What I noticed, max numbers were significantly less when barefoot.

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Here’s why:

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The body becomes acclimated to certain support and then relies on it. This is the same reason why they tell you not to do your entire workout with a belt on. Only for maximal loads, otherwise the body will start to rely on it. Ergogenic Aids. Shoes give you the same advantage. So, the stronger you are without it, the stronger you are with it. Make sense?

Now, people are going to say, “well how am I supposed to get my numbers to that? I can only achieve those numbers with these aids.”

Truth is, it takes time, but it’s definitely achievable. It took me 5 weeks to get my barefoot box jump to that of my “aided” jump. And when I achieved it, my aided got higher! Your CNS is already accustomed to it. You just need to show your body another route to take.

-The Asshole

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There are two things I’d like to bitch/inform you guys about. Chocolate milk is one of them. Of all the things with training and nutrition I can inform you people about, people want to know about chocolate fucking milk. Are you people on crack? But whatever, I answered a question on how to get more protein in your diet, I guess I’ll answer one on chocolate milk.

Here’s why chocolate milk became popular.

“The NC Double Assholes” (what movie is that quote from?) do not permit strength coaches and school nutritionists to recommend protein supplements or amino acids unless they have double the carbs than they do protein. This obviously restricts shit they can recommend. Athletes being crazy about how much protein they consume demand about 50g’s of protein/meal (which for some is a good amount) then the only thing they’d be able to recommend has 100g’s of carbs in it. That’s 600 calories right there, not including fat, not to mention you don’t know the source/quality of the carbohydrates that are in it.

That being said, they love saying, “post work-out, grab a chocolate milk.” Chocolate milk has a lil protein in it, sugar for carbs and reasonable fat. Protein in milk has a very high bioavailability and is casein and whey protein. That’s why they recommend that. It’s simple, easy, everyone has it and it meets requirements for a PWO shake…kinda. For a snack, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I mean, c’mon. You’re a fucking nutritionist, you can’t say something better than that? But once again, I slightly understand their angle. College students are used to eating pizza and drinking beer, peanut butter and jelly are a better combo.

Next,

There’s been much dispute about my milk is shit blog post. I’ve had some pretty nasty emails and face book messages regarding this. Allow me to address some of these:

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1. If milk is bad for you then don’t breast feed your baby boys!!

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This might be the dumbest  statement I’ve ever heard. Listen up  and listen good! When we breast feed, it’s coming from a human  being not a cow.

(BTW I’m against baby formula and completely for breast feeding. Chemical messengers in the mammary glands detect a bunch of shit in the baby’s saliva and some how alter the structure of the milk being produced by the mother and make it more beneficial to the needs of the growing child. Humans have actually been known to stay 100% healthy on just breast milk for long periods of time even after infancy. It might be weird or gross, but life CAN be sustained on just breast milk. However, the baby‘s saliva needs to be on the breast for the mammary glands to respond to the saliva, so breast pumps don‘t cut it.)

COWS CAN’T DO THAT SHIT FOR HUMANS!

Not to mention, baby boys aren’t trying to put on muscle like athletes are you jag off.

2. Timmy-Your digestive system breaks down the estrogen in milk anyway so it doesn’t matter.

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If that’s the case, then I guess oral anabolic steroids are a hoax too right? Your body does not break down the estrogen that’s in the milk people. Anything that enters the body is going to have an effect on the body. Shut up you asshole. I’m sorry, using my nickname on you is an insult to me. You’re below me. Hope you’re happy.

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3. Zach-Wow, if milk has estrogen in it, then estrogen must be one of the most anabolic hormones on the planet, cause I went from a solid 250 to a solid 300 in about 9 months after adding a half gallon of milk a day to my diet… No moobs here

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Why is this world loaded what fucking mutants? Zach, you’re a dumbass and I hate you. If you went from 250 to 300 in 9 months then I got news for you. You have tits.

It’s ok, it’s not natural to weigh 300lbs, O-linemen have tits. It happens. Unless of course you’re taking additional supplements *cough* juicehead *cough* then my friend, I have news for you again, the milk had nothing to do with your weight gain. The steroids you injected did.

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4. Luke Corcoran-“Milk comes from cows.

Cows are female.

Females have estrogen.

Estrogen gives you boobs.”

Trade out milk for beef, you still making the same link?

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K guys… let me spell it out for you.

Milk comes from TITS. Not from the thigh, ass, shoulders… TITS… Do I need to say more?

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Guys… My dilemma with milk is this. Owners pump their cows full of hormones, antibiotics and God knows what else. Their diets are shit. The lifestyle is shit.

Ever see a human medicated on steroids and antibiotics to sustain life? I have. They’re overweight, malnourished, sedentary and in no way shape or form healthy. That’s what these cows are. And not only are we eating them, but we’re drinking shit that they squeeze out? You fucking kidding me? This is a NO BRAINER! I’m wayyyyyy less against organic milk. If you MUST drink milk, spend the extra money and make it organic with no hormones or antibiotics in it. Go the extra mile. And not just with milk, with EVERYTHING you put into your body.

I don’t know if any of you know this, but my generation is the first to be predicted not to out live the previous. My dad (who’s almost 70) is gunna live longer than I am (years wise) and I’m sure a lot of that has to do with the shit I’m fed! When he was growing up, he didn’t have to deal with the GMO’s, antibiotics and hormones these cows were pumped with, I do. I’m sure shit like that has sooooo much to do with it.

You’re stuck with your body for the rest of your lives people. When it comes to your health, I honestly don’t see money being an issue…EVER.

-The Asshole

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Q:

Mike/Asshole, You always say do the “All-natural” diet. I’ve been doing that but I don’t know how to go about taking in protein? I’m a little confused, could you break shit down for me? Yeah, I know, I’m stupid. 

John 

　 

A: Johnno,

Yes, you’re right. You are fuckin stupid. Getting protein in your diet? Yikes…. ANYWAY, you’re lucky I’m in a half-way decent mood. I’m going to break down my version of the “All-Natural” diet for all you mongoloids. 

I’m going to list a shit ton of foods (not just food groups) because my audience isn’t smart enough to understand what goes where… schmucks 

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Your best bet for all foods is to be Organic. Non-organic foods have very harmful toxins, hormones and other shit in it that will over time lead to big problems. Some of which could be tits, a limp noodle and cancer. 

Carb Source: Bananas, apples, oranges, kiwis, pineapples, potatoes (all kinds), rice (both brown and white, preferably brown), strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, carrots… do I really need to keep listing fruits and vegies? 

Fat Source: Nuts, seeds, peanut oil, almond oil, extra-virgin olive oil, QUALITY fish oils, flaxseed, sunflower oil. Shitty fish oils that you get at CVS contain horrible ingredients PCB’s. This comes from them being farm raised and fed grain and shit. PCB’s put a lot of extra stress on the body that you can do with out and makes the fish oils counterproductive. 

How do I know if my fish oils are any good? 

SNEAKY TRICK:

• Cut 2 or 3 capsules open and empty the oil into a shot glass.
• Put the shot glass into the freezer.
• Let it chill for a few hours.
• If it freezes or congeals in anyway, it’s shit.

　 

Protein Source: Fish, chicken, turkey, lean red meat, buffalo beef… pretty much any kind of animal. 

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Every single meal should be WELL BALANCED. By this, I mean, carbs, protein and fat in EVERY MEAL! Many athletes like the “Zone Diet” base of 4:3:3 ratio of Carbs:Fat:Protein because it allows them to consume lots of protein. This is what I usually recommend. 

-What does 4:3:3 ratio mean? 

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    • For every 4 calories of carbs you have, that means you have 3 of protein and 3 of fat. I’ll make it a little difficult for you, if you have 24g carbs then you will have 18g protein and 8g of fat. Reason: Carbs and protein have 4kcals/g and fat has 9kcals/g.

I don’t know if I can spell shit out for you guys any better than that. Hope this solves a lot of the confusion, 

-The Asshole

  

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Q:

Mike im a 10th grader in high school going into my football season. Im about 5′11″ 180 I play RB and S. I was wondering if you could give me some guidelines and maybe even a full day plan by the hour of what kind of foods I should eat during Double Sessions. The First Session Go’s from 8:30 to 11 and the second from 1 to 3:30. Thanks for any help you can offer me.

Kevin

A:

First thing, make one of these shakes when you first wake up!

I would have that at around 6:45am.

During your sessions, I would definitely have one scoop of Endura.

And water it down with Coconut Water.

After your first session, you’re probably gunna be starving.  Don’t be an asshole and stuff your face, cuz you’ll just regret that later when you’re puking during agilities.  Pack something that’s easy on your stomach.  Maybe a quality meal replacement shake, egg whites, or even chicken.  For carbs, fruit and veggies are always safe bets!  You don’t want it to be TOO high in fat.  Fat slows the absorption of the rest of the food, which is a good thing for the GI but a bad thing for performance.  This will cause the food to sit longer rather than be ingested and used for energy.

After your practice is over, grab some dextrose and throw it in Ideal Recovery.  Try to keep the grams of dextrose to aminos at a 4:1 ratio.  This will help with speedy absorption.  Then go home and grab some dinner asap!  Once again, make sure it’s of good quality.  Good source of protein, carbs and fat!  All-natural is DEF the way to go!

After that meal, try to stay up for another 3 hours and pound down another meal and you should be set!  That gives you 4 quality meals with a solid PWO Shake.

A lot of you might be saying, “That’s not enough food, he’s gunna lose weight from that!”

Here’s my response to you jerkoffs:

He’s in fucking 10^th grade.  These kids have so much test pumping through their system that they can get jacked up off of Mountain Dew and Skittles!

2^nd, HE’S IN 10^th GRADE! What 10^th grader eats more than 3 times a day! And when they do, it’s usually something along the lines of Mountain Dew and Skittles!

3^rd, Yes, he probably will lose weight in double sessions. But guess what, EVERYONE DOES! I’m trying to limit the loss of weight and strength, jagoffs!

Q:

Hey Mike I have a question about training. I’m currently training for amateur boxing but also lifting using the Built Like A Badass program. I box Monday-Thursday and lift Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I always lift in the morning and box in the evening so there is about a 10-12 hour break between the two. I was wondering if that is too much work in one day and if I should stick to one activity a day? I feel fine doing it, but I don’t know what the long term consequences could be.

Tyler

A:

If you feel good doing that, then who am I to tell you that it’s too much.  It’s a good program with deloads built into it.  So as long as you follow the program, you should be fine.

Q:

Mike, your blog is real helpful to those of us who want to continuously improve. your tips and info and experiences are greatly appreciated.

Q: If you consume something like you described 2 hours before your training, what if anything do you consume between that meal and training? For instance, do you consume your GI pre-workout supplement between your pre-workout meal and your workout? or anything else?

Thanks,

Bobby Fugatt

A:

Lately, I’ve just been consuming my pre-workout meal and it’s been MORE than enough!  However, I’m also just rehabbing.  I’m not REALLY getting after it, nor am I coming from practice or game.  I do remember however, eating right and still needing a “pick-me-up”.  Ideal Pump is definitely a good source.  Even though, at this point in my life/training, I’m not a fan of stimulants, I do understand that sometimes, they are necessary.  Majority of competitive collegiate athletes need them to balance out hard work on the field AND in the classroom!

Q:

U the man….keep up with hard work….i love the blog…..just ur style straight up no bullshit

Mike

A:

No Mike.  You’re the fuckin man.

-The Asshole

First things first guys, here’s a link to sign up for my news letter.  I promise I won’t send it out every day.  Only when I update my page or do something relatively important. This takes away the facebook or chance factor and you guys will all know when I update my blog.  Thanks!!

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Now, onto the blog!

Every trainer has a responsibility to their clients. Our job is to make them, the best version of “them” they can possibly be. Unfortunately, it’s not always so simple. This is what separates good from bad. Any jagoff can take a program off the internet and throw it at their clients. And any fucking monkey can youtube P90x. Not gunna lie, it’s a pretty intense program, but it’s not made for everyone. Not to mention… It’s kinda gay. When people around my age tell me they’re doing/did P90x I generally ask, “Why?” They don’t understand my question cuz they’re below average Joe’s, and it makes me sick.

I have a basic template that I use for all my clients for their evaluation. Then I can judge the intensity of the program I’m going to design for them.

I have an unusual client. He came in a skinny bastard and started turning into a freak. Then, outta nowhere, he started experiencing extreme joint pain.

Here was our thought process:

Overtraining- Take a few weeks off

Didn’t work

Lyme Disease – (constantly camping, not a bad thought) No

RA (rheumatoid arthritis)- They tested him for that when they tested him for Lyme Disease

The doctor said it was arthritis. I don’t believe it for a second. He looked at x-rays and that’s it. Apparently, he’s got it in his family. So that’s what we have to go to. I’m not a doctor so I can’t disagree.

So here’s what I came up with through trial and error. He can’t take any heavy loads on his body (that’s what she said). No pounding, nothing excessively taxing on his CNS because that will put a tax on his joints.

I always tell everyone, don’t count anything out of any program because anything and everything can be utilized at some point. Here’s what I needed to do, increase time under tension without putting excess stress on the joints. Balance boards, discs, and physioballs seem to be working thus far. I also like to throw in at least ONE “stressful” exercise to shock his body. Here’s one full body workout I came up with.

Fast Tube by Casper

The first squatting variation actually caused tightness in his lower back. Bodyweight squats weren’t cutting it, and weighted vests were too easy. So, we just changed the position of the ball, and that seemed to work.

Aside from that, his big problems are in his knees and hands. Lotta pain there. Climbing the rope is GREAT for getting strong. That’s the one “stressful” thing I allow in his workouts. If you notice, all his other exercises are performed without the use of his grip. I try not to over-do shit.

Lately, we’ve been doing a lot of foam rolling and lax ball work before each session, and that’s helped with the pain a great deal. Majority of the soreness or pain occurs on the distal ends of bones where muscles insert. We actually thought he might have below average cortisol levels, which could lead to inflammation causing pain. But, once again, I’m not a doctor I’m just an asshole The Asshole, so I can’t make statements like that. He’s making an appointment with other doctors for second opinions. In the mean time, this “new” program has been working very well for him. No pain, constant progress and it’s something different.

-The Asshole